The Birdy
by ElliotsLover-DracosWife
Summary: AU. Daltonverse. Post-Hell Night. No pre-set couples: The Adam drama had brought an era of gloom into Dalton. In this terrible time of fear and doubt, there is only one person to call: The Birdy. And she won't be coming alone... All Rights to CP Coulter.


**Hi! So I love Glee and Dalton and my one of my best friends lg1415. This is for her and for CP Coulter, goddess among us mere fan fiction mortals. If you don't like it, well...I don't care. PLEASE, if you have read Dalton and i get something wrong, TELL ME! SO i can change it immediately! **

**Y'all should check out my tumblr: Darling-Anita and lg1415's TUmblr: LittleMiss-DoYourBest :)**

**I Love you All!**

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><p>The sun had just broken through the clouds, the birds were chirping their morning song, and two identical maniacs were running around with string, duct tape, and a bucket of unknown, yet most likely extremely dangerous, substance. The two deviants were prancing around the room creating what would probably be a death trap for anyone but themselves. Slowly, the rest of Windsor house had made their way down, however they all stopped at the foot of the stairs, staring in wide-eyed shock at the common room.<p>

Now, they know they shouldn't be surprised at whatever plan the Tweedles hadconcocted, but when there are various object hanging from around the room, green foam plastered everywhere, and the two responsible were on each other's shoulders, using a mop to cover the ceiling with the previously stated unknown substance, the male students couldn't help but stare. The Twins continued to attempt to plaster the creepy neon blue goo everywhere above them, not yet realizing they had an audience. Too shocked, and slightly afraid to say anything, the Windsor boys just stayed silent and unmoving.

Well, not all of them.

"WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE?" Every person in the room jumped three feet in the air as Charlie Amos, resident Windsor Prefect made his way to the bottom of the stares. Reed, not expecting the fellow student, had jumped so high that Shane was actually able to catch him midair. With a few rosy cheeks, Reed squirmed his way out of the handsome boy's arms, much to Shane's reluctance.

The Tweedles, shocked as well at the newcomer, toppled over one another, letting the brightly colored liquid go in a magnificent splatter. Tangled and drenched in what looked like blue dye, Evan and Ethan struggled to stand until finally they got to their feet, holding on to each other for dear life, and staring with fear in their eyes at the Dalton Senior. Charlie himself was breathing heavily as he stared at the mess in front of him. He has been dealing with the Brightmans for years now and yet when they do something like this, he always tries to remember why he puts up with them, and can never think of a good enough reason.

The Windsor prefect opened his mouth to speak, yet stopped, held up his hand, turned around and walked into the kitchen. The rest of the teens simply stared at each other, frightened of what the prefect could possibly be doing. The Tweedles especially were shaking just a tad at the look they had seen from the Red Queen; the same look that told them they were screwed.

It was for a good reason that they had stayed frightened, for when Charlie walked back into the room, in his hands he was carrying a black, stainless steel baseball bat, weighing it threateningly.

"Now," he began in a quiet, yet strained tone, "what _the hell_ is going on in here?"

More silence ensued before the Tweedles, deciding that their announcement was worth risking their necks, saddled up to Charlie, blue dye and all.

"Well, Your majesty," Evan began.

"We have a very special guest coming over this afternoon-" Ethan continued.

"And in order for her to have a proper welcoming-"

"We need to be able to have the house ready-"

"Therefore, we have booby trapped the ENTIRE house!" They yelled together, throwing their arms up, sending bits of blue everywhere. Everyone, other than Reed and Kurt who stared disbelievingly as the blue dye stained their designer pajamas, looked highly confused. Knowing not to ask however, they waited till Charlie finished glaring at the twins, sighed in defeat and asked: "Who is it?"

"Drum roll please?" Evan asked, only receiving a slight beat from Shane, who quickly blushed and stopped his movements at the incredulous looks from his housemates.

"Or not..." Ethan muttered. They both looked on at Windsor house with smiles till Dwight finally yelled, "Just spit it out all ready!" The Tweedles looked at each other before their grin widened even more.

"Hessa is coming!" The twins chorused, jumping up and down in excitement and glee.

"Hessa?" Kurt whispered to Blaine. Before he could explain, the blond duo had popped up right beside him.

"Our cousin,"

"Our mini-us,"

"Our legacy,"

"OUR LITTLE TWEEDLE!" They screamed together and once again began to run around the room. Kurt, still confused, looked at Blaine for an explanation.

"Hessa Ruth, cousin of those two as well as Logan and the most devious _creature_ you will **ever** meet." He finished, looking slightly scared and a little bit maniacal at the thought of the Tweedle's relative coming to Windsor. And with good reason.

Kurt looked around and the same look of shock/horror was on all their faces. Dwight was even on the floor, cradling a cross and waving a holy water filled squirt gun frantically.

"What on earth are you all freaking out about, she can't be that bad? At least not any worse than these two idiots." A wave of incredulous looks washed over him as the Windsor boys turned to face fair-skinned boy. Before they could all go on simultaneous rants, Evan and Ethan popped up once again.

"Oh no, Alice," Evan Said.

"Hessa is worse-"

"Much worse-"

"You see, she is our little apprentice-"

"Prodigy-"

"Heir-"

"We've taught her _everything_ we know-"

"All of our tricks-"

"All of our secrets-"

"And with her natural I'm-so-adorable-little-girl-innocent charm-"

"She gets away with **everything**!" They chimed in unison.

"I'm so proud," Ethan commented, wiping away fake tears. Before they knew it, the Tweedles had once again gone back to fixing, or destroying, the common room.

"Stop!" Charlie finally halted them in mid-attempt of Evan once again trying to get on Ethan's shoulders, leaving the former with one leg on his brothers back and clutching at him like a monkey.

"Turn," the prefect said quietly. Subconsciously, the rest of the dorm had taken a small step away from the senior, his tone infecting fear within them all.

"Now," He spoke, a menacing calm coming over him once again, "why are you booby trapping the house?" The Twins, looking exasperated, untangled themselves and explained.

"Well, how will we know her skill level unless we test her." Evan said as if it should be obvious.

"Yeah," his brother piped up, "How will we know if she has kept up with her Training."'_Training_' Kurt mouthed to Blaine, only to receive a shrug and a shake of the head. Blaine had given up deciphering the Tweedles language a long time ago. Charlie either knew what they were talking about or he too decided not to try and understand the Twins language.

"And what about the rest of us," he spoke again, swing the bat back up into his hands, making the victims, uh, twins, take a step back, "how are we supposed to get through here undamaged?"

The Brightmans turned to survey their handy work, only to shrug apathetically in response. Sighing, the Windsor prefect swung his weapon on to rest on his shoulder.

"Ok, it's 9:30 now, when is the demon-child coming?" He said in defeat.

"Noon." The twins chorused.

Nodding, Charlie began, "Ok, well that gives us enough time to-"

Suddenly, the doors to the rest of the campus opened Mr. Howard, the Head of Windsor, striding in, only to find the common room completely torn apart. Slowly, Mr. Howard turned towards the students who stood frozen in front of the staircase and picked out the culprits. He had known these boys long enough to know who was at fault for things like this.

"Brightmans!" He barked. Before anyone could move, Charlie stepped forward, playing the peacemaker once again.

"Don't worry Mr. Howard, we've got 2 ½ hours till Noon and everything will be cleaned by-"

"Noon?" The teacher yelled both confused and angry.

"Well, uh, yes," Charlie stuttered, "When Hessa Ruth comes..." he quieted as he saw the Windsor Head's face go bright red before yelling:

"NOON? Who told you noon? Ms. Ruth is getting here in 30 minutes! How will this be fixed in a half hour?"

Everyone looked terrified as the Prefect became white as a sheet, but quickly he shook his head and replied calmly.

"It will all be fixed when she gets here, trust me." Howard simply sighed in fatigue and closed his eyes, pinching the bridge of his nose in patience.

"Get it done, Mr. Amos, or it'll be your neck." Swallowing, Charlie simply nodded as the teacher once again looked around in a mixture of annoyance and disgust, before turning around and heading out towards where he had come from.  
>Charlie swung around and once again, the menacing look had resurfaced.<p>

"30 Minutes everyone: Get to work."

_~30 Minutes Later~_

The morning sun had beaten down by the time 10 o'clock had arrived, causing all but the twins, Reed and Kurt, to strip their night shirt off from the sweat, leaving them only in either their seats or boxers. Reed and Kurt, who had previously changed, stating that there was no way they were risking any further damage (even if it was just PJ's) were now only wearing a pair of skinny jeans and a light shirt each. The Twins had also changed beforehand and simply wore shorts and wife beaters. Everyone else: shirtless and sweating.

This was not helping Kurt as he finished mopping up the last of the Vaseline that has lined the floor, as Blaine's sun-kissed skin and toned abs were getting quite distracting. Movement was already a challenge whilst wearing skinny jeans and Blaine's current state of dress was not help Kurt in the least. _Stop it,_ Kurt mentally berated himself, _just friends remember!_ However his brain, his heart, as well as 'Mini-Kurt' were all thinking **very** different things.

Reed too was having quite a hard time concentrating, but he had it worse since his and Shane's job was to get the still unknown liquid off from the ceiling. Therefore, Reed being the smaller one, had to sit on Shane's shoulders...with Shane's hands on his thighs...and Shane's head right next to-

Giving a slight shiver, Reed almost dropped the mop he was holding.

"You ok?" Shane said, looking up which only cause further friction against Reed, causing him to only give a small squeak in response and forcing him to bite his lip in order to hold back a moan. _What_'_s wrong with you Van Kamp?_ He blushed in despair, _you_'_re never like this! Get a hold of yourself._ However, like Kurt, Reed's Brain and 'Mini-Reed' were thinking two incredibly different things.

All of a sudden, the doors of Windsor blew open and three figures stepped in, two men with one of them holding some girl who was talking very loudly to the boy who wasn't man-handling her.

"Are you kidding me? Of course he's gay! Well at least bi. And you're as gay as a double-fucking-rainbow, so why on earth haven't you tapped that ass yet? Cause if you don't, I'd be happy to take him off your hands for you." The mysterious girl smirked in satisfaction as the boy she was speaking to groaned in annoyance.

"Derek? Logan?" Kurt asked, stepping forward and staring at the two Stuart students. Derek, the one grabbing the girl's upper arm, shoved her forward and into Windsor House.

"I think you idiots lost something," He growled in annoyance. The "something" in questioned whipped her head around and glared at the taller boy.

"Are you fucking kidding me? 'Lost something'? I'm a chick you moron! A _female_! Even though I doubt you've ever heard of one, let alone touched one, you better show me some goddamn respect, you asshole!" She screamed at him, a "bitch-please" look that rivaled one Kurt Hummel's.

Before Derek could respond, Logan grabbed his arm and started out the door.

"Believe me, it's not worth. You _will __**not**_ win. And that's me talking." Logan finished. As the two walked out, everyone heard Derek exclaim: "How are you related to her?"  
>Shrugging, the girl, whom Kurt has deduced to be the notorious Hessa Ruth, turned around and stopped in her tracks at the sight of nine shirtless, incredibly good looking men standing before her.<p>

"Goddamn," she muttered, still standing wide-eyed in front of them before turning to the Tweedles, "I fucking _love_ visiting you two."

"BIRDY!" The Tweedles screamed, throwing their arms wide open, obviously expecting some kind of reaction. Instead, Hessa's face set into a cool façade and she remained still. Slowly, the twin's arms lowered to the ground.

"Birdy?" They whispered, both looking like someone had just kicked their puppy. The woman in front, who had a huge bag slung over her shoulder, slowly reached in, and in one swift moved, pulled out a Nerf Bow and shot two right at each Tweedle, hitting them dead center between the eyes.

"Paybacks a Bitch, Suckers!" Hessa then continued to laugh manically as she reloaded their bow.

By now, the blonds had recovered and they two had their Nerf guns out and loaded.

"It's on like Donkey-Kong!" They screamed; and World War Tweedles began.

Battle cries were heard throughout the Campus as The Twins and Hessa battled it out. The rest of Windsor, knowing this could, and would, get violent, ducked for cover. Blaine grabbed Kurt, who was merely standing there looking confused, and shoved them behind the couch. This cause Kurt to accidentally come in contact with _a lot_ of skin while lying on top of Blaine. However, he was a little pre-occupied to notice.

"What the hell is going on?" He asked Blaine incredulously. The man merely sighed and said,

"Every time Hessa comes, the three of them have some sort of battle. The loser has to tell the winner anything they want for a week." Kurt simply stared on, even more confused.

"Tell them anything? Like, secrets? What's the big deal about that?" He asked.

"Not just secrets, but formulas for pranks, password codes for other people's computers, etc. Basically, if Hessa wins, then she is privy to any and all information the Twins have, not only about themselves, but on ALL of us. You wouldn't think that was much, but you have no idea how twisted their minds are..." Blaine trailed off, recalling what had happened the last time he had seen Hessa, back when Logan and Blaine had just broken up. No one really knows what she did, but after Hessa had found out that her cousin had hit Blaine, she locked him in a room with her for 6 hours, with only screams and sobbing coming out of the room. Afterwards, Logan was sporting a couple black eyes and didn't walk without a limp for a month. However, she also had a little Come-To-Jesus meeting with Blaine which ended with Blaine in the fetal position, scared out of his mind at the 14 year old spitfire in front of him. Ever since that day, the name Hessa Ruth still gave him shivers.

Finally, the shouting had stopped and the students began to come out of their hiding places. Nerf darts were scattered around the room as well as a series of Nerf arrows. The Twins stood back to back in the middle of the room, guns at the ready and eyes frantically searching for their cousin...who was nowhere to be found. Everyone else slowly began to realize this and they too began to looking for the girl. Experience had taught them that an invisible Hessa was a highly dangerous Hessa.

Suddenly, Two Nerf Arrows were shot, hitting the Tweedles right on each of their Temples. Windsor house simultaneously whipped their heads around to see Hessa Ruth, standing on one of the Rafters with a bow in one hand and a rope which was tied to another rafter. Hessa, smirking like meerkat, simply placed the bow on her back, grabbed the rope to slide down on it and walked over to the Twins.

"I win." She said, giggling a small, yet slightly hysterical giggle, before walking back over to where she had dropped her bags, picking them up and making her way towards the stairs, everyone instinctually moving out of her way.

Evan and Ethan sighed in defeats and tried to pull off the arrows, only to find them unable to move. They each gave a hard yank yet only received howls of pain as part of their skin ripped, and still the arrows didn't budge.

"BIRDY!" They screamed in unison. Hessa had just made it to the top when she turned to look back at her cousins.

"Hunh, I had totally forgotten about the Super Glue, How 'bout that?" She said, once again smirking as she walked into an empty room.

Everyone looked back, only to find the Twins staring wide-eyed at the spot their prodigy just stood.

"She beat us," Ethan muttered.

"With Super Glue." Evan finished. They both turn to each other.

"Our baby's all grown up!" They cried and embraced each other. The Windsor men simply looked on in confusion.

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><p>At roughly the same time that the noise had begun to die down at Windsor after the battle of Tweedles, two Stuarts sat in their common room, relaxing after the eventful morning.<p>

_Flashback:_  
><em> The three Dalton boys were just coming back from a late breakfast when they were approached by Mr. Murdoch, their House Head.<em>

"_Wright, Seigerson, Larson,_"_ Murdoch acknowledge each of the boys and dragged up the girl he had been holding. She had deep chocolate eyes that had a familiar mischievous glint in them. Her hair was a luscious dark brown with hints of blonde that framed her face perfectly. She had a black tank top with a picture of one of those insulting Bunnies that said _'I'll be nicer when you become smarter'_ and a pair of light-washed skinny jeans. Both articles of clothing were extremely tight, showing off her womanly curves in just the right ways._

_Derek stared at her in both confusion and appreciation. _This could be fun,_ he thought as his eyes raked over the newcomer's body. Said newcomer noticed this and sent a Kurt-level death glare his way._

"_Eyes up here idiot,_"_ she spoke harshly, snapping her fingers to get his attention. Derek, even more confused, turn to look at his other two companions. Julian looked bored like always and Logan...Logan looked both exasperated and like he was about to cry._

"_Mr. Wright, I believe this is your cousin, Ms. Ruth?_"_ The Stuart Head stated, shuffling the girl forward until she was right in front of Logan. The two simply stared at each other before Hessa's signature smirk spread across her face and she jumped up on her blond haired cousin, wrapping her legs around his waist and wound her arms around his neck. This was obviously the standard greeting since Logan's hands came perfectly on her waist, holding her in place._

"_Hello Love,_"_ Hessa smiled and hugged Logan with much enthusiasm. The boy hugged her back as well and grinned tiredly._

"_Hi Hessa,_" _He spoke in a grave voice. Finally she released him and got back down onto the ground, standing just under his chin._

"_Why the long face Love?" she asked innocently, "No super, hot boy-lovin' here?" Logan rolled his eyes at his dear cousins little act._

"_Shut up,_"_ he said before remembering their company. _"_Derek, Julian, this is Hessa Ruth, my baby cousin; Hessa these are my two friends Derek Seigerson and Julian Larson." _

_Before anyone could say anything, the female had walked straight up to Julian and stared at him intently. Derek sighed. _Of course, _he thought,_ teenage girl + Julian = Derek being ignored. _He was used to it by now but it was still annoying. _

_That being said, he was blown away by what she said after looking from Julian to Logan and then back to Julian._

"_Are you dating my cousin?_" _She spoke calmly to the movie star. Now, as Stuarts, they all had learned to keep a tight control on their emotions. However, both Derek and Julian_'_s eyes widened astronomically at the question. Both knew how Julian felt about Logan and Derek knew he was one of very few people privy to the information that Julian was bisexual. There was no way in hell this girl could know all about Julian within the times span of two minutes._

_Logan, obviously used to his cousin_'_s bluntness, responded in his usual monotone,_

"_No Hessa, we are not dating. I_'_m gay; Julian is straight; we're friends. That_'_s it._"

_Now, Hessa is naturally a very observant person. She was taught at a young to always be aware of her surroundings and the emotions of the people around her, a key skill that has allowed her to get away with many a nasty deeds. So when Logan had spoken his bit, she saw a flickering - granted and small, tightly controlled flicker - of pain in Julian_'_s eyes. __However, she merely stored this in her mind for later use as she turned on the blond haired Stuart incredulously._

"_You_'_re kidding right_?" _she spoke disbelievingly,_ "_Of course he_'_s gay. It_'_s one of the most obvious things in the world. I don_'_t care if he_'_s some hotshot movie star. This dude, is gay._" _Logan, about to respond in disagreement, was cut off by said _'_hotshot movie star_'_._

"_Yeah, ok. Well, I_'_m gonna go back to the dorms a sleep. I have a feeling that being even more irritable than normally will not serving me this coming week_." _With that, Julian flipped on his pink Ray-Bans and swaggered into the Stuart House. Watching him walk away, Hessa twisted around to look at the last of her company._

"_Yep, definitely gay_."

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><p><strong>HA HA! I KIIIILLLLL YOU! But please review, and if you have no idea what just happened cause you haven't read Dalton:<strong>

**A) You haven't lived yet, and**

**B) Go read it. Now: Dalton by CP Coulter**


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